What’s the one step you can take that will guarantee you always make the right choices in pregnancy, birth and beyond?
The answer is Self Love.
This is the place to begin. Learning to love yourself is so powerful it’s really all you need to do. When you commit to learning to truly love yourself then from this place of deep self respect you’re naturally led to the choices, the behaviour and the attitude that is best for you and your baby’s wellbeing.
Not only that, Self Love and Self Worth are interchangeable. When you love who you are, you allow yourself to receive the abundance of love, support, wellness, personal fulfilment and success available to you. You let go of the self sabotaging thoughts, beliefs and actions that hold you back from living your best life.
Unfortunately most of us have been taught through life experience the opposite of Self Love.
Most people learn at a very young age to seek love and approval from outside of themselves.
Whilst in the beginning you experience unconditional love, as you grow older you start to learn that certain behaviours meet with approval and other behaviour meet with disapproval. You start to learn that love and approval is conditional upon acting or being a certain way, and because Love feels good and you want to feel good, you learn to modify your behaviour and who you are in order to feel good conditional upon this or that.
As a result you reject the parts of your Self that cause you to feel disapproval or unlovable.
You lose connection to the beauty of who you truly are. This leads to choices, behaviours and actions that are out of alignment with your natural expression of Self.
Little girls in particular are taught to be ‘sugar and spice and all things nice’. Girls are encouraged to be ‘good girls’ and that means rejecting those aspects of their personalities that challenge how other people want them to behave. As girls grow into women this conditioned response to please other people means women frequently put themselves last. When girls aren’t encouraged to engage the assertive and aggressive parts of their personality, it may be hard for them during pregnancy or birth to speak up for themselves and assert their authority and autonomy.
Self Love is the process that reconnects you to the truth of who you are and teaches you to reclaim the parts of yourself that have been rejected throughout your life.
As you learn to love the whole of who you are, you are able to receive with greater abundance.
Self Love is the commitment to knowing that you are worthy of your deep love, forgiveness and approval unconditionally.
Self Love is your Internal Guidance System
When you use Love as your guide, you are always moving toward a state that feels good. It feels good because Love is associated with the expansive vibration of joy, abundance and alignment. It is your natural state of being, the truth of who you are.
Self Love is about always moving towards the thoughts and feelings and actions that allow for you to feel good. You choose Self Love because you care about how you feel and it’s from this place of self care that you allow yourself to receive all you need to be happy, healthy, loved and supported.
Self Love is about honoring your own divinity. That sounds kind of cliché, but it’s something worth thinking about. It’s a powerful act of creation to grow and birth and sustain a baby, and women have that power. Throughout time the Mother archetype has been worshipped as the creator of life, and yet today the value placed on mothering has fallen to an all time low.
In addition to undervaluing the role of mothering, our culture does little to prepare women to be strong and confident mothers.
For example, most of what’s offered as part of routine antenatal care teaches women that their bodies are not to be trusted, that birth is dangerous and that some external source knows what’s best for them and their baby.
It’s no wonder that when the baby arrives women experience doubt and confusion and uncertainty when every step along the pregnancy journey leads women to seek guidance and approval outside of themselves that they are doing it ‘right’ and that everything is ok.
Now, imagine a world where your routine antenatal care supported you to find the skills and resources within to trust yourself, your body and your intuition as you made the transition to motherhood. A model of care that built you up and helped you feel powerful as a woman. What would that look like?
Self Love is the answer.
When you use Self Love as your guide you are connecting to your Internal Guidance System, you are listening to the whisper of your Heart for guidance rather then looking outside of yourself for confirmation or approval. You do what feels good to YOU, and what feels good to you is always the right choice for yourself and for your baby – even if that goes against outside opinions.
Happy Mother = Happy Baby
The world of pregnancy, birth and mothering is full of do and don’t advice, something that preys on the vulnerability of women at such a pivotal time in life. Self Love teaches you to honour and trust your Self and to convey the personal authority that your choices are worthy of respect.
It’s so powerful to know you have an Internal Guidance System; that you have access to inner resources that will always lead you to the right choices.
The very first step is Self Love. It is the one practice that will transform your life.
Are you ready to begin?
Self Love Action Step…
Let’s start with an INTENTION.
For extra power, do this standing in front of a mirror looking deep into your own eyes. If that feels a little strange right now, skip this bit and just speak your intention out loud. You can always come back to doing it in front of a mirror later when you feel more comfortable.
Put one hand over your heart and the other over your lower belly. This connects your Heart with your Womb, a connection in Traditional Chinese Medicine known as Bao Mai that connects a woman’s creative centre with her heart’s desire (the secret to manifestation).
Take a few deep breaths to centre yourself and when you are ready say out loud,
‘I choose to commit to deepening my connection to my Self and to my unconditional Self Love. I deeply and completely love and approve of myself.’
Take a deep breath. Let it go…
Smile into your body and allow that smile to drop down into your heart and to your lower belly.
Before you finish, take a moment to feel a sense of gratitude for your Self.